52 Lists: Week 4

Current and Future Goals and Dreams

1. Make God the center of my life and continually seek Him
2. Become an official member of my church
3. Find my place of ministry
4. Pay off all my debt
5. Buy a house
6. Spend more time with Chance, riding
7. Run a 5k, straight through
8. Be a more dedicated friend, really sowing into meaningful friendships
9. Shine God's light, everyday
10. Get married
11. Have Children
12. Be a Mentor to someone
13. Learn to dance
14. Get caught up on my scrapbooks
15. Fine tune my photography skills
16. Own a truck, horse trailer, and four-wheeler
17. Become a strong addition to any teaching team
18. Learn to not let people bother me
19. See Reba in concert
20. Travel to Texas
21.  Live life to it's fullest

52 Lists: Week 3

Week 3: The Things I Should Be Proud Of:

1. Deciding to pursue a relationship with God
2. Working to make Him center of my life everyday
3. Seeing a Counselor, which does require bravery. I have received so much healing and growth.
4. The fact that I am not ashamed that I have been through counseling and still go sometimes
5. Working to overcome my strongholds, especially my anxiety and people pleasing
6. Who I chose to surround myself with
7. Graduating high school and college
8. Graduating with Honors, in the Top 10 from High School and Cum Laude from College
9. Getting a "Real Teaching Job" within a year of Graduating
10. Working hard for my students each day
11. Getting good evaluations from both jobs/bosses
12. My creative ability, although it lacks substantially most of the time :)
13. Being a good listener
14. Maintaining my horse hobby (He can be a dosie on the wallet!)
15. That I am working to pay off my debt
16. I am learning to set boundries
17. My ability to see things from the other point of view
18. The photography skills that I have
19. I can usually see the positive in things, despite bad news
20. I appreciate the small things and have learned how much they matter
21. I encourage others, I am supportive
22. I am dependable
23. I am compassionate and caring

Puzzled

I am, by nature, a person who likes to know.

I like to know what I am doing, where I am going, what I have to get done by when, what the plan is, what I can work around and what I can't.

I am all about knowing, when I know, I feel in control.

But I am learning that there are things that as much as I want to know, I don't get to know.

What does my future hold? Is it what I want it to be? Does God's plan match up with my desires? Does He want for me what I want for me? And do I even get to think that, following Him, since my plans are supposed to be whatever He may have in store for me?

I tumble over these questions a lot in my head. I do want what God wants for me, but, I get scared that it may not be the picture I had in my head.

I often get frustrated with why things don't seem to be going the way I want them to and why things aren't seeming to fall into place. As I was thinking about this the other day, God granted me with a picture, a revelation of sorts.

I saw a puzzle and me trying hastily to shove the pieces into place. I didn't know what I was creating but I knew what I wanted and was trying so hard do get there. Blindly fighting, I was frustrated.

Much like I am with trying to fit the pieces together in my own life, to create the picture that I want it to be.

That isn't how it is supposed to work. God then showed me that when I let Him, the master creator and the one who knows the big picture, start carefully placing the pieces in, things start to fall together, creating an image, a beautiful picture of what He has for me.

He takes the pieces, crumbled and cried on, rough from me trying to put them where I want them and says "In my timing. This doesn't fit here, we aren't ready for this yet. See, oh don't you see? Let me show you, this piece must go here first, or it won't create the wonderful picture I have in store for you."

When I hand the pieces over to God to allow Him to create the picture, He carefully starts crafting them, in His timing, piece by piece. There is no pain from shoving pieces where they don't belong. There is no frustration in not knowing where things go, what they are to look like, and later realizing that what I had done, wasn't right at all.

There is only the simple beauty of knowing that what God is creating is much more immaculate that I could have ever imagined and all I have to do to get there is hand it over to Him.

"Now to him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us"  
-- Ephesians 3:20


My God, who loves me more than I could ever imagine, is doing and working a great work in me, piecing together every little detail of this wonderful puzzle of my life. Although it doesn't make sense to me, I have to remember that when I take control and try to make it work, that it is nothing but trouble and tears. My life, is in His hands and with that, He is creating a beautiful picture, a work of art, all pieced and puzzled together by a Creator who loves me.

52 Lists; Week 2

Week 2: My greatest Comforts

1. God
2. A hug
3. A good friend
4. Genuine Words
5. A helping Hand
6. "I love you"
7. The smell of horses
8. A smile
9. Soft Blankets
10. A well timed sediment
11. Love of any kind
12. A note from a student
13. Compliments
14. Someone who cares
15. A good and deep converstation
16. Cuddles from my horse or dog
17. A familiar place
18. Proximity
19. Warmth of the sun
20. Hot chocolate
21. Watching Reba
22. A good book
23. Home cooked meals
24. Riding my horse
25. Riding four wheelers
26. Being outside
27. Tea
28. Music on KLove
29. My Church
30. Good news
31. A campfire
32. The peaceful sounds of nighttime
33. My bed
34. A spring day

                                                                                                                  35. LOVE

52 Lists: Week 1

I have decided that this year, I wanted to take part in the 52 lists project. I found the project on Pinterest and it brought me to this page ( http://www.moorea-seal.com/p/52-lists.html ) if you would like to check it out. I was going to keep it private, in my smash journal that I am doing but decided today, well, a few minutes ago, that I would like to post it here to share and to initiate discussion.

I have already shared a lot of my heart on here, shared pain and hope, worry and freedom, and will continue to do that so I saw it fitting that this list project be posted here as well. So, here it is, week 1.

When I post these, know that there is no particular special order to the words that flow into theses lists, nor is there a specific number. Only one list per week, no reservations, my thoughts and heart sediments will flow, sometimes deeper than others.

Week 1: Words that touch my soul

1. God
2. Love
3. Thoughtful
4. Cozy
5. Hug
6. Friendship
7. Peace
8. Teacher
9. Snuggle
10. Joy
11. Together
12. Horses
13. Inspire
14. Happiness
15. Rest
16. Gorgous
17. Blessed
18. Thought of you
19. Miss You
20. You mean a lot to me
21. Love you
22. You're a great friend
23. Great work
24. Can I help you
25. You're the best teacher
26. You are family to us
27. Thank you